Ain't nobody looking at you

This past weekend my girls came home to celebrate my birthday, to celebrate my #1’s birthday.  You see, my #1's done this thing since she was born that I lovingly refer to as “high jacking my day”. It’s just crap. But I can’t totally take her down about this since I am partially responsible for when she was born and all that riff raff.  It used to get dicey around here during  birthday week, but being the mature mom, I let go and gave her a full 2 days, and I then I get a week. I'm always fair like that.   

As we were getting ready to go out and celebrate our birthdays I turned to her and said, “does this look okay?” and she replied with the most deadly statement ever:

“Yeah mom, you look fine. Wear whatever you want.” 
(Which is basically equivalent to: Ain't nobody looking at you.)

& then she turned to me with her hair held up and said, “up or down?”

(Uhmmm, hi I'm sorry, did you just blow me off and then ask me about your hair? yeah? okay, great, I just want to get that part straight.)

After my inner breakdown conversation, I did what any awesome mom would do, and picked the look I least liked, knowing that she would go with the other look…which is the one I actually liked the best. 

Why, you ask? Why must we play this game?

Because she is the daughter and I am her mother. And because this is what daughters do. They pick opposite. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Age 2, 12 or 24, it doesn't even matter! It just is. I didn't create it, I don't love it, but I've got mad skills in this area. So, let's not judge okay? 

For some reason, this brief interchange has resonated with me all weekend. It was only further compounded when after my girls left the next day, my 2 year old nephew sang happy birthday to me but said my #1’s name! (Because yes, even when she's not here, She's high jacking my moment!) 

When I said, ”What? no, it’s my birthday!” he sang it all over again and ended with…”Happy birthday to…Jesus.”

Because yes, it’s true, people confuse Jesus and me all the time.

So here’s the truth: at 44ish –ain’t nobody looking at you.
But at this point in life, I'm totally okay with it. People, I've learned to roll with it and I'm here to help you prepare: 

#1, there’s a high probability that your gray is poking out the top of your head.

Because gray doesn’t lie down and obey. Gray is out of control and a free spirit among hairs. Gray just rebelliously stands alone doing its own thing. I swear that regardless of how intimate you have become with Garnier Medium Brown Nutrisse Shade 50, gray is still large and in charge. Hair dye be damned. You have failed.

#2, there is a high probability that you may sneeze, which means you may have also just wet your pants a little.

 I will not admit if this has/has not ever happened, but I've heard about it, okay?
 I mean, can we just all agree that you'd  feel a little cheated that at 44ish you have digressed to a 3 year old in the area of bladder control? I'm not bragging, but I’m rocking this whole grown up (and possibly grown “out”) thing in every other way.
So, why this Lord? It’s just so many kinds of wrong. Every time I hear, “...you give and take away…” I think, so maybe give back bladder control & take away belly fat! Yes. That seems legit. (& I’m so sorry if I just ruined that song for you:/)

#3, you may spend most nights prepping for bed by reading up on body temperature on WebMD 

Are ridiculously cold feet and simultaneous head sweats possible signs of a terminal disease or just middle age? All I'm going to say here is that I feel that it’s totally within reason to ask for my body to regulate temperature from head to toe. This is not asking a lot. I can go hot or cold, lets just be consistent. Is this so hard? I regularly say deeply romantic things to my man like, "if you love me you'll let me put my cold feet on you." Whaaaat?  Is this the regular night time ritual my marriage has been reduced to?  Yes. Yes it is. I currently have this re-occurring dream where I'm shaving all my hair off and I look down and I'm wearing 4 pairs of socks?  It’s all just too much to contemplate.

So yeah, nobody's really looking at you at this age, and its okay. Embrace the change. I mean look at me, I've grown up and matured so much that I can't feel my feet, I wet my pants at the onset of a cold, and I'm fighting the rebel grays daily. Its awesome.

But lets just all take a moment and focus on the fact that I’ve got a 2 year old calling me Jesus.

BOOM!

Failing Forward,

Pen