But let me tell you what's really cool? What's really cool...is when you get a great nights sleep in your own bed. Ahhh bliss…or when you wake up to the smell of your favorite coffee, AND you open the fridge to find you still have some creamer…happiness…pure delight and happiness… and then (here's the really, really cool part...) you walk into your home office and water drips on your head. So you look up and see several water puddles throughout the office…running along beams and seams in the sheetrock…which is where your #2’s bathroom happens to be located. But she’s left for school.
Welcome home, Welcome home!
I race up the stairs and nothing. No water, no remnant of water, not even the slightest bit of humidity or dampness. Relief. momentary though, because I still have to find the leak.
My man and i survey the damage. (see pics) and call the insurance company. We make the claim; turn off all water to the house from the street. Concede that we will evidently not be having showers, or washing clothes (ah shucks!) and wait for plumber friend to show up.
I’m thinking, well…maybe we make lemonade outta these lemons and we fix it ourselves and have some extra money towards floors…or college…or groceries. Whatever.
My man, thinks this is ridiculous, and we will NOT be attempting my ,”home improvement, make some money off of this deal and ½ *ss it” plan. We will call a plumber, and we will wait on insurance adjuster. And then, and only then, we will discuss what the next step will be.
Ohhhh kayyyyy….DREAM CRUSHER!!!
So, plumber shows up. 2 of them…(sadly, 1 of them remembers me right away from another plumbing incidence a year and half ago when he came out to replace a toilet upstairs when our 8 year old niece dropped an old cell phone in the toilet, flushed it, and then “forgot” to tell us! That’s another story all together…) He cuts ceiling, sees dampness and water. Tests pipes, nothing. Other guy runs up stairs, turns on all water faucets, shower heads, flushes toilets…nothing. Guy 1, tells guy 2 I think we should cut a HOLE in the sheet rock behind bathroom (which is my guest room) and see if they are leaking on that side. Whooooooaaaaaaa….hold up there pilgrim. Let’s keep this project contained to the office ceiling…no need to cut holes in the wall! (unless of course I can get new flooring out of it? no?)
Next sound I hear is a saw. Like a real loud saw. I walk outside, and try and go to my happy place…only I can’t find it…and it’s not happy this place I find…it’s far more like my, “oh-mi-gosh-can-this-really-be-happening-today-because-this-really-sucks-i-think-i-need-a-margarita!” place. Um, hello God, I don’t even like lemonade, I was just trying to be positive in 2011. But I’m past that now. Way past! Like so far past that I can’t even remember why I wanted to be that person. Stupid positive people. Booyah – come and live this life!! That’s what I’m sayin’!!!
3 hours and 30 minutes later, the owner of the plumbing company is in my home, a roofer friend has driven by, and naturally, stops in to be a part of the commotion as well. (great! What’s next the local news?) Hell, why not? Throughout this day they have all asked several times…”any chance someone overflowed the toilet?” Me – “no, we’ve been gone for a week, and #2 didn’t mention anything. I can text her and ask.” So I do. And she says, “No.” end of story. Now, back off my girls! I'm starting to get a little mama bear-ish! Mess with the bull...you get the horns, ya know what I'm sayin'?
We (3 plumbers, 1 roofer, and me-Texas mom on verge of breakdown with bad hair and no Chi) decide to leave ceiling open, let it dry out, and just go from there. Gee, this is great news…I have holes in my ceiling and chunks of wall missing. Love the idea of rodents and other critters roaming in my home throughout the night. Total set up for a great night’s sleep. Can’t wait. You guys really know how to make a girls day! Shoot me now please!
As they leave, plumber guy #1 says, “Ya know, weird things happen with girls (be careful buddy....). You might just wanna check with them and make sure no-one did anything with water or something. Ya just never know.”
I smile and say, “Will do!” and then under my breath (weirdo!) like, seriously, I know my girls. If they had a “water incident” they would tell me, and they sure the heck wouldn’t get it cleaned up correctly, and they would definitely leave wet towels, etc…. I can generally track their movements like serial killers…they leave telling signs everywhere they go. It’s in their genes. (not my genes of course!! His genes-my man's!)
But…this guy, he's got me thinking...#2 is very concrete. If you ask her a direct question she answers directly. for instance: Did the toilet overflow? answer: no. she doesn't think beyond that question, like, "hmm...i wonder why momma would ask me that?..."it's over for her. i asked. she answered. the end.
Just to be able to say, “I did.” I text #2, (*now the following text is verbatim, it will help you appreciate what i live with...)
Me:“hey-#2, water leak in office, any chance you overflowed toilet? Or tub? We can’t figure it out?”
#2: “no to toilet, BUT, maybe the bathtub, cleaned it all up though! Didn’t think it’d be a big deal. See you when I get home. LOVE you! Sorry”
Me: tub overflowed? Define overflow? Water on carpet?
#2: yes (c'mon now...you have got to be kidding me..."yes". no explanation!?)
Me: hallway? Bathroom?
#2: Tile in bathroom, and at crease where carpet and tile meet
Me: an inch?
#2: height or on the carpet?
Me: BOTH!!! (it's OK, it's ooooohhh kaaayyyy, put the gun down...slowly...take deep breaths...)
#2: carpet went out into the hall like an inch and height was about 1 cm-1/2 cm
Then…
Between one and half and one cm, not one and half
Me: (sent picture of ceiling in current state) um, you’re gonna want to come home soon :), we’ve got some clean up to do!
#2: (she's seen the picture now...)Please tell me that wasn’t my fault…;(, I love you mom, so much! <3
Me: Come home, so I can show you how much I love you….:)
#2: ok, ...I’d like to live to see tomorrow:)
Ya know, I’d like to lead a normal life. Nothing too fancy, or nice. Just normal. I’d like some extra money, not a lot, just a little. I’d like it to rain chocolate for a week straight and for all bread products to be low fat and good for me in large quantities. I’d like a lot of things….but we don’t get what we like. We get what we get. I'm adjusting. I'm bitter, but I'm adjusting!!
But let me tell you what #2 is getting...an exciting lesson in painting…and sheetrocking…and texturizing…and loss of money for projects you don’t want to pay for, but get to in life because…well, that’s life!…and that’s how you get to see tomorrow if you are her and you live with me!
For the record, I’m not telling the plumber. I’m not lying, I’m just not offering any words on this subject...EVER! Don’t give me that lying by omission crap. I’m doing the best I can. How much more shame can a mother take? I'm only human ya know…
But I am mighty…and
I am strong…and
I will take her…
xoxo~
Pen
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